On the Light Side

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On the Light Side

Pearls of Wisdom:

If at first you don't succeed, you're running about average.

Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out?

The light at then end of the tunnel, might be a train.

My recipe for perfect toast: As soon as you see smoke, minus 15 seconds.

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. . . those who know the binary number system and those who don't.

All the world is a stage, and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

A word to the wise is redundant.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were looking up at stars. Tonto asked "What does this mean to you, Kemosabe?" LR says "I see we're in the constellation Gemini, it's almost time for summer solstice, and the sun will rise in three hours. What do you see, Tonto?"
Tonto said: "It tells me someone stole our tent."

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear what he says, is he still wrong?

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's very dark.

Never miss a good chance to shut up...

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes, That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes...

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark.
Professionals built the Titanic.

If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards.

Money can't buy happiness, but you can be miserable in a better neighborhood.

There are no old jokes, just old listeners.

Favorite oxymoron: Microsoft Works. (Second favorite...adult male.)